Sermon Illustration

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” The preacher shocked at the answer; dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again— but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks t...

A man was once asked, "Are you a believer in the Christian religion?" "Oh, certainly!" "You are a member of some church, then, I suppose?" "Member of a church? No, indeed. Why should I be a member of a church? It is quite unnecessary; the dying thief wasn't a member of a church, and he went to heaven." "But of course you have been baptized; you know the command—" "Been baptized? Oh, no; that is another needless ceremony! I am as safe as the dying thief was, and he never was baptized." "But surely, since you will not join a church or be baptized, you will do something in acknowledgment of your faith. You will give of your means—you will help the cause in some way?" "No, sir; I do nothing of the kind. The dying thief—" "Let me remark, my friend, before you go any further, that you seem to be on pretty intimate terms with the dying thief. You seem to derive a great deal of consolation ...