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Understanding of a Child

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

The Two Thieves

A man was once asked, "Are you a believer in the Christian religion?" "Oh, certainly!" "You are a member of some church, then, I suppose?" "Member of a church? No, indeed. Why should I be a member of a church? It is quite unnecessary; the dying thief wasn't a member of a church, and he went to heaven." "But of course you have been baptized; you know the command—" "Been baptized? Oh, no; that is another needless ceremony! I am as safe as the dying thief was, and he never was baptized." "But surely, since you will not join a church or be baptized, you will do something in acknowledgment of your faith. You will give of your means—you will help the cause in some way?" "No, sir; I do nothing of the kind. The dying thief—" "Let me remark, my friend, before you go any further, that you seem to be on pretty intimate terms with the dying thief. You seem to derive a great deal of consolation ...